Ten Things
by peculiaris
Summary: "There are ten things I wasn't able to say when you were here. When we still have an us. It ever there was an us." "I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to let you stay. I'm sorry if I said that you weren't enough. You are. I love you." *Warning inside*


**Hi guys! How are you? This is a sad one shot. I do hope that you'll enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time is not mine and so as the characters.. also i kinda included some windstruck and more than blue quotes so.. yeah not mine as well..**

**Mistakes are mine :D**

**WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH**

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**Ten Things**

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_**I was born to love you. Heaven sent me to love you – More than Blue**_

* * *

Twenty more minutes and she'll be there.

Twenty more minutes and she'll be able to see her son and Regina. It has been two years since she left the quiet town of Storybrooke.

Two years of never ending questions of why she didn't fight. Why she didn't tried to change Regina's mind and made her believe that she was enough.

But, things are changing now. It felt like someone whispered that it was time for her to go home and be with the family she always dreamt.

It's already 11:40 in the evening and she was feeling anxious, her hands were clammy under the stirring wheel as she looked at the dark path of Storybrooke. When she saw the sign, she felt relief that at least, she was still able to enter the barrier that had been hiding this town from the eyes of the outside world.

Outside the bad reality of life.

The first thing she noticed once she entered the town was the silence. She can't hear anything and it was eerily creepy. The crickets that had been alive during the night wasn't awake in this time of the night. She felt like she was in a horror film, that any minute from now and boogeyman will appear and kill her.

Emma laughed at the thought. She had face a dragon and an ogre; she even faced a giant for fuck sake, and now she was feeling some kind of fear from the quietness of the town. Yes, the silence of the town had amazed her the first time she went here, but the stillness of the night this time wasn't as calming as it was before.

She stopped driving and stared at her clock.

Twelve o'clock midnight.

She felt really silly being in the ghost town like that she once called home. She shrugged and opened her car. The screeching of the door was the only noise that was heard around Mifflin Street.

Emma cringed at the sound. She really need to change the bug.

As she was about to knock on the door, a shrilling sound of howl was heard in the dead of the night.

It was whimpering.

"It's her 39th night of crying." An almost manly voice commented from her back and chills ran on her spine.

"Jesus!" Emma jumped. And when she looked back she was met by an almost tall as he is son. "Henry!" She hugged him tight. She might see him from time to time but despite that, seeing him again made her think of the two years that she missed.

He's seventeen and practically a man with his deep voice, no longer a squeaky fifteen year old little bunny that she used to squish.

She stopped hugging her when she remembered him mentioning someone crying.

"Wait, who were you saying that was crying?" She asked curiously.

"Ruby. It's the 39th night." He said.

"39th night of what?" she asked growing more curious as to what was his son was talking about.

"Let's get inside first." Henry replied before opening the door with his key.

Henry opened the door and warm air seemingly engulfing her in a hug greeted her of her arrival.

"Where is your mom?" she asked. Aside from the stillness of the house, the other thing that she noticed was emptiness.

Emma knew that if Henry stayed late, Regina would always be there waiting for their son.

"She's not here." Henry replied. There was sadness on his voice that Emma couldn't fathom as to what had caused it. Did Regina left Henry because she accidentally knew that Emma will be here? Where is Regina? She was the reason why Emma was here.

Emma wanted to win her back and she was not here.

Henry moved towards a glass case sitting on top of the coffee table. She never seen it before and it was something out of the ordinary in this whole house.

"Mom asked me to give you this." Henry said as he pulled a piece of paper from the coffee table. The first thing she noticed was the way it was folded; it wasn't like Regina at all. If her Regina was the one folding it, it will probably very neat and seeing the folded paper now, she found it peculiar for Regina to leave her a message.

"Mom said that I should give this to you. She wasn't able to fold it when she left." Henry said as if reading Emma's thoughts.

"I'll be in my room. Mom's room is open if you want to read that there. I think, it's much better if you do." Henry said before leaving Emma who was still looking at the letter that was handed to her. It was clearly from Regina.

The neat hand cursive of her name was a reason enough to believe that it was from hers.

Emma, despite the confusion decided to move upstairs and locate Regina's room. She opened it and again, a warm wind greeted her. It was as if someone was guiding her feet towards the bed. She sat at the side which usually occupied by the brunette mayor. She put the letter on top of the bedside table before settling her feet on the bed.

She was tired, but her curiosity won from the battle. She wanted to read the letter and she would do it now.

After settling, she slowly unfolded the letter.

It was dated more than a month ago.

_**Miss Swan,**_

Emma chuckled at the term of endearment. They stopped calling each other's name when they were able to work out on their difference couple of years after Neverland.

_**There are things that I wasn't able to tell you. Things that I should have told you before our paths separated. Maybe, maybe if I had the courage to tell you what I am about to say, things would have worked differently. However, I know that it won't still change anything at all. I don't know what this letter would do but all I know that I will regret everything if you wouldn't know these things.**_

_**There were ten things I wasn't able to say when you were here. When we still have an us.**_

_**It ever there was an us.**_

_**So here it is:**_

_**1\. The day you brought Henry back, you broke a spell that I casted myself in order to forget you. I didn't tell you that when we had gotten acquainted with each other for the fear that you will change your mind or that you will have doubts on the friendship and what do you call this… more than friendship that we have. I did try, however, fear won the battle.**_

Emma chuckled at the thought and she could vividly see Regina rolling her eyes and dismissing the thought.

_**2\. I never really hate you. I wanted you around. You were a challenge I wanted to keep. You keep me grounded. You motivate me to do something thrilling. The moment you challenged me; the moment you cut my apple tree, that's when I realized that there are some things worth fighting for.**_

_**3\. You are my savior. There I said it! I never admit it to you because of how smug you look when we talk about the time we saved each other's life. You would boast that, it was because of you I didn't killed by the mob or the wraith. That it was because of you, I am still alive despite the trigger that I created. I am grateful for that.**_

Emma thought of the time she saved Regina and shook her head at the look of disbelief and annoyance that had graced the mayor's features. Emma almost laughed thinking of a petulant Regina.

_**4\. I kept every note you left around our home.**_

Happiness bubbled inside Emma's stomach as she read what Regina had written. She called the manor their home. It was enough.

She giggled at the next lines of the number she's under.

_** I even keep the annoying post-it that you place on the ceiling with a fox Robin Hood just to annoy the crap out of me.—I am even using your crude words and this is your fault Miss Swan.**_

Emma remembered the time that she made Regina watched Robin Hood of Disney. And laughed non-stop seeing the disgusted face of Regina. She even heard her said something about the reason why he smelled like forest. She never understood that but it made her laugh. She then decided to draw a fox Robin—even if it resembled a meercat than a fox—and it has a thought bubble that said: Hi! I'm Robin and I smell like forest.

She remembered Regina almost throwing her a fireball.

Good times.

_**5\. I didn't say I loved you back when you said it because I was scared. Every time I love , I end up losing them and I was afraid to lose you. But still, I end up losing you.**_

Emma could still recall the time Regina didn't say anything when she had the courage to tell the woman that she loved her. It was like a slap in the face when Regina told her that she wasn't enough. All her life, all wanted was to be accepted but hearing the words from the woman she longed for.

The woman she protected from the moment she met her.

The woman who held her heart without taking it from her chest.

It was too painful that she decided to just walkaway.

Emma didn't realized that she was crying until she noticed a drop of her tears meshing with the one with smudge letters. Regina must've been crying when she was writing the letter.

_**6\. Your heart wasn't the only one that broke when I let you go.**_

_**7\. When you walked away, I had a deal with myself that if you look back, I'll run to you and tell you everything. But you didn't. and I can't do anything about it.**_

Emma could still vividly remember that time. She did look back and when she did, Regina was already closing the door of her manor.

_**8\. I was sick, so I pushed you away. The day you told me that you love me was the day that I received the results of my test. I told you before that I was feeling tired most of the times and I have been having trouble in breathing. The doctors found out that I had a hole in my heart. No, this wasn't because of the curse that said that it'll leave a hole in my heart that I need to fill the void. The hole on my heart was literally a hole in my heart. The doctor said that it if I can't find a donor immediately, I won't be able to live for long.**_

_**I tried the long process, and prayed to the gods that I know of that I will be able to find a heart. They did. I was about to tell you about it but then I realized that I wanted to be healthy for you. If you ever wanted me back.**_

_**But after almost two years of having a new heart, all of a sudden, I got an heart attack. My heart was failing. I asked Henry not to tell you because I didn't want you to see how fragile my state was. I didn't want you back just to have your pity.**_

"No. No.." she muttered. Her heart was constricting at what she was reading. A heavy feeling settled in her remembering the times when she was away, thinking that if she'll be back, she'll show Regina what she was missing. She'll tell Regina that she was enough now.

Emma was full on sobbing now. Regina was stupid. She can never feel pity on the woman she loves. She wanted to scream into the dead of the night. She wanted to hurt someone because she was hurting so much now… but she has to finish the letter.

_**9\. When we talked about reincarnation, I remember you were telling me that you wanted to be the things that I would but because in that way we can still be together and have fun. I told you that I wanted to be the wind. By the time you are reading this, I might be the wind.**_

Emma can't read anymore. She was trying to concentrate but her eyes were filled with tears. They were flowing continuously. She don't want to believe that this was happening.

She wanted to know that Regina was still there just waiting for her. She wanted her Regina back. Flesh and blood. Emma pulled her knees towards her and lay down in a fetal position. It was as if the world was mocking her and her senses engulf by everything Regina. The smell of apples and cinnamon invade her.

"This is not true." She said.

Emma stayed in her position for quite some time that she didn't realized the opening of the door. The bed dipped and Emma came face to face with his son. Henry didn't say anything, instead, he pulled her mom into an embrace giving her the comfort she needed.

The comfort they both needed.

The wind blew once again and it seemed like it was playing just around to where the two people are. The door and windows were close at that time.

Emma thought that it was Regina's way of comforting her but she can't accept that.

"Why are you so unfair?!" Emma asked quietly hoping that she'll get an answer. She sobbed more at her son's chest when she realized that no one will answer her question. Emma slowly retrieved the crumpled paper.

Regina would want her to read the rest. She looked back at the letter and saw that it stopped at number 9.

"K-kid?" She asked with hoarse voice. Henry look down. "Where's the rest of the letter?" Emma continued.

Henry was looking at her silently, opening his mouth and closing again. It reminded Emma when Regina caught him sneaking.

"J-just that Ma. She told me while she was writing that I should give this to you once you return. It was like something was telling her that you'll return eventually/ She wasn't able to finish the letter. She said that she'll finish it after she sleep, she was getting tired and she needed sleep. A- and… and she never woke up ma." Henry said before sobbing into her arms. It reminded Emma the ten year-old child that was begging her to stay when she first tried to leave Storybrooke.

It reminded Emma of Regina.

Henry's sobbed died down but hers didn't. She cried herself to sleep thinking that it was unfair for Regina to leave her and not waiting for her.

Emma woke up in the middle of the night having nightmares she can't seem to escape. Most of them included Regina telling her to go away but it always ends up with her running to Regina but never able to caught her. Once disappeared, Regina's voice became distant and wherever she went on her dream, she still wouldn't find her.

Emma tried calling Regina on the phone. It was a futile attempt she knew that, but she just wanted to hear her voice even for a little bit.

She desperately wanted to hear the voice of the woman she loved for so long. She just wanted to hear her melodic voice because she didn't want to believe that she'll no longer see Regina. That she is already gone.

_This is Regina Mills, either my battery's out, or I'm in a non-serviced area. Leave a message and I'll try to get back to you._

Beep.

"Where is that non-serviced area Regina? Come back. I miss you. Hurry and come back. I need you." Emma muttered hoarsely to the phone.

Regina's voice brought back memories and she couldn't fathom how she'll be able to live her life knowing that she'll never be able to hear those voice again.

That she'll never be able to prove to Regina that what they had was special.

"I miss you. Come back." She said to no one.

* * *

The next day was a blur.

It was the 40th day. It was said that during this time, the soul of the person who died will leave the earth. It was an old saying that Emma never believed until now.

It was midnight when Ruby howled once again. She learned from Henry that Regina became closed to Ruby when she left. Ruby couldn't accept that the friend that she had found was already gone. Ruby became Regina's apprentice and she treated her like a big sister she never had. Hearing Ruby's cry made Emma angry.

"See what you've done! Everyone is mourning because you left! How could you be so selfish! We would find a way together but still you kept it! If you are here! If you are the wind! Make yourself known! Just…" Emma paused her shout inside Regina's room.

Ruby's howled became quiet whimpered.

"Just let me say goodbye." Emma sobbed.

The wind blew around the room. It blew round and round and round, until it stopped. Emma looked around but she couldn't find anything.

_"I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to let you stay. I'm sorry if I said that you weren't enough. You are. I love you. and that was the 10th thing I wasn't able to tell you. I love you Emma."_ Regina's voice echoed.

Emma turned around.

There she is. Regal looking as always with her white dress.

"You are here." Emma said as reached for Regina.

"_But I don't have enough time."_ Regina said quietly. "_Whenever you feel the wind, it's me. I'll always be here."_

"No. no.. stay please. You said I am enough. Why can't you stay." Emma whined like a child but she couldn't care less. She just wanted Regina to stay.

_"I'm glad to see you before I left."_ Regina smiled at her that timid smile she gave her when they were on the town line. That pained timid smile that she'll never forget.

Regina started to turn her back.

"No! Regina!" Emma shouted. Regina didn't look at her so she continued. "No Regina! Don't go. Please! I'll follow you if you go." She said indignantly.

_"No. It's not your time yet. You have many days ahead of you." _Regina answered turning back to face Emma.

"No. No." Emma repeatedly said. Tears were continuously running down her face. She didn't care if she looked so distraught, she just want Regina to stay.

"_You have to let me go."_

"But I can't. I don't know how." Emma whined.

_"You have to. Don't be sad because of me. We'll meet again. One day… you'll meet someone same soul as mine. And when you hear the wind, that's me whispering."_

Emma tried to hold Regina. And Regina let her too. She slowly inched forward and capture those lips that she wanted to feel for so long. And just as she felt Regina's soft lips… just as she pulled Regina towards her… she was gone.

Emma sobbed at the lost.

She still don't know how to survive without her best friend and her one and only.

* * *

_After two years…_

Emma decided to escape the little town of Storybrooke with Henry. There were so many memories and she knew that she couldn't move on if she stayed. Bringing Henry with her, they decided to travel and moved to Miami.

Because even Boston and New York bring back memories that, she thought she forgot.

She was on patrol that time when she encountered an accident. It wasn't major but she was still put into trauma doctors.

Emma's mind was fuzzy at the blow that she wasn't aware that her doctor had already arrived. She only noticed it when a slender finger held her hand. The touch was almost familiar.

She looked up to see her doctor and it was like seeing a ghost.

The ghost warmly smiled at her.

It was as if the wind was telling her that she was where she needed to be.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Eva Zambrano."

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**uh.. should i hide?**


End file.
